Commitments

I don't know about you but I sometimes find myself completely burning the candle at both ends and feeling overwhelmed like something has to give.

I have learned in the past few years to say "No" at times and not feel guilty if I'm stressed and need to re-evaluate what I have on my plate.  Remember when Jesus took a break from the crowds to get away and rest and get some focus?  Yeah?  If Jesus needed to do then I surely do.  Honoring our commitments but also being mindful of how much we can realistically do is a hard thing to master.  You don't want to have so much stuff going on that you are only giving 25% to 4 things instead of being all in to one thing.

Patrick called me on my drive home yesterday to tell me he needed to be logged on the computer when I got home to work on this big Journalism project.  {Sidenote:  We don't leave our computer logged on and just open for the kids to use at any time.  It is password protected and they have to come to one of us and ask to be logged on when they need it or want to play a game or whatever.  If you don't have your computer password protected, use some type of monitoring program or have time limits for computer time I strongly suggest you think about implementing something}.

Seeing that it was only 3:15 and I know he has Drill Team Practice until 5PM my spidey senses were on high alert so I asked why he wasn't at drill.  After much hemming and hawing (Is "hemming and hawing" a Southern thing?  Do my Northern friends say this?  If not, you should) he finally came to the point that he was given the assignment on Friday and had all of the long holiday weekend to work on it but he "forgot" and therefore he needed to get it all done last night.  Did I mention he has guitar lessons from 6:00--6:30 on Tuesdays which means we have to leave our house at 5:30 and don't get home until 7PM? 

After I expressed frustration with this I told him I would log him on when I got home at 4PM but he could not use the computer for anything later in the night other than the homework assignment.

This made him an unhappy camper.  "Wait.  What?  What about when I'm finished with the assignment?" 

I explained that he made a commitment to be on Drill Team and they practice 3 days a week most weeks.  By skipping out on practice to do an assignment at the last minute he was not honoring the commitment he made.  He chose not to do the assignment over the weekend and he chose to skip out on drill.  Because of these choices there were consequences...namely he was going to have to rush to get the assignment done and probably not put forth his best effort and he lost computer privileges for the night.

For those who don't have teenagers yet...taking away the computer seems to be akin to cutting off one of their limbs with no anesthesia then pouring pure alcohol on it.  See also:  "Taking away the cellphone" and I'm guessing "Taking away the car" at a later date.

He argued his point that as long as he got the assignment done he didn't see why he was being punished.  So...we went back over it again.  Had he worked on the assignment over the weekend he wouldn't have felt the need to skip drill and then he wouldn't have been grounded from the computer for the evening.  Choices have consequences. 

His 15 year old resolution was "Fine.  I'll quit drill!"  I think it was at this point I had to start doing some deep breathing exercises but I managed to keep it together and tell him that if felt like quitting drill was what he needed to do then we would honor that choice but he needed to remember he needs some extracurricular activities on his resume.  Just being a good student doesn't cut it anymore with colleges.  They want you well rounded and to show leadership skills. 

He worked on the assignment for a little while before we had to leave for guitar lessons.  It worked out where it would just be the two of us on the drive down to Montevallo.  Now some people would call this a "teaching moment" but I call it "trapped in the car with no escape so you have to at least pretend you are listening to me". 

I talked to him about commitments and why it is so important to honor things we say we will do.  That the whole "your word is your bond" thing is a big deal.  Being a person of integrity goes a long way.  Think about it.  If someone has lied to you or let you down when you depended on them it stings and we remember it.  If this same person has done it time and time again then we don't think of them as being a trustworthy or dependable person. 

I also talked to him a little about this year and things we want to try as a family.  We talked about stretching ourselves, getting out of our comfort zones and being more obedient instead of doing "just enough" with our lives.

I think he glazed out about 15 minutes into the drive so I figured that was enough for one night. 

Hopefully the lesson learned for today:  Honoring our commitments.