Teaching our kids about grace

There are few things Colin loves more than going to Target and getting an Icee at the end.  He will ask about 876 times if we are going to get an Icee.  Before leaving on vacation last week we were at Target and Josh & Colin were in rare form.  They were running all over the place and I found myself having to stop numerous times to tell them to knock it off.  I kept forgetting things and had to backtrack in the store. 

Finally, without yelling at all, I said to them, "Okay.  I have to get 5 more things before we can go.  If you cannot behave for the remainder of our trip then we will not stop to get an Icee on the way out."

They both nodded and by Thing #3 they were running and playing again.  I said nothing, got my 2 last things and we headed for the check out.  As soon as we were gathering our bags Colin started toward the snack counter.  I stopped him and he looked up at me and said, "But we haven't gotten our Icees yet..."

I reminded him that I had asked them several times to stop running and they chose not to follow my instructions.  I asked Josh if he knew what disobedience was and he said it was when you were told to do one thing and you did something else. 

I started for the exit and Colin was heartbroken.  He cried and cried all the way to the car.  Real baby tears rolling down that sweet face.  He kept saying, "But I'm sorry Mommy!  I won't do it again.  I really won't.  Please let us have an Icee.  Please..." 

Josh was quiet but asked if they promised to behave next time could they get an Icee.  I stood my ground.  I didn't yell.  I didn't fuss.  I didn't act exasperated with them...which let me be real here...I would have sold either one of them to roving gypsies at that moment.

I buckled Colin in and he continued to cry...not a whiny didn't get my way cry but a true sad cry. 

We left Target and headed toward home.  After a few minutes I asked them if they knew what grace was. 

Josh said he thought it was something about church or Jesus but he wasn't sure.  Colin just cried.

So I told them that grace is when we do something and we deserve a punishment but instead we are given mercy or even something good.  Josh pondered this for a minute and asked, "So if somebody does a really bad thing and they deserve to go to jail but then the judge lets them go home that is grace?"  And I explained it further from a spiritual standpoint.  We talked about Jesus and the cross.  Colin started listening and told me, "Jesus died on a cross...do you mean like that, Mommy?" 

We drove along and talked about how sometimes even when we disobey God and we deserve to be punished that God gives us mercy and even blessings. 

Then I turned into Snow Biz.  As I parked the car Josh asked where we were going and I told him, "I'm showing you grace..." 

Before we got our icee I explained to each of them that when they disobey it hurts me and makes me sad and angry.  That I want to always give them good things and I don't like to punish them but I will.  But that there are times I want them to know grace as well. 

They were quiet and behaved like little angels the rest of the day.

When John got home he saw Colin's blue lips and asked, "What did you have today?"  and my sweet boy smiled up at him and said, "Mommy bought us some grace." 

Not exactly...but I think he was close.

I screw up 90% of my interactions with my kids so I really enjoy it when I get it right and that afternoon I felt like I got it right.

Update on all things Puckett

Turns out living deliberately keeps you kind of busy!  I didn't mean to neglect our blog for so long so I'll give an update on what we have going on...mainly for myself to log things.

John:  John is staying busy with stepping up being the leader in our home.  He has joined a men's group that meets weekly and it has really been helpful for him.  We just celebrated our 12 year anniversary and that is a true testament to what God can do if you shut up and get out of the way.  Continue to pray for John as he leads our family.

Patrick:  Patrick has his first real job this summer.  He is working at an animal clinic from 7:30--5 each day.  It has been a big responsibility for him but also teaching him a lot about budgeting and how a job in the real world looks.  He has a fantastic boss and seems to really be enjoying the work.  Who knows?  Maybe this will spark an interest in the medical field for him.  He gets his driver's license in November and I keep having to explain to him that just because the great State of Alabama says he is eligible to drive doesn't mean I'm going to just hand him over the keys.  We are working on balance of him growing up and me realizing he is growing up.  Pray for Patrick to continue to strive toward being a young man of integrity.  I want more than anything else for my boys to be men of character when they grow up.

Josh:  Josh is enjoying his summer by spending time with friends and laying around in his pajamas as often as possible.  We are being very deliberate about setting aside time for Josh to work on reading this summer.  He has had a few struggles in the past year so we are all over it by having him tutored for the summer in an effort to catch up and give him more confidence with his reading.  Josh has the most compassionate heart I have ever seen.  He really hears things and holds them close in his mind when most people forget and move on.  Perfect example...our church lost a very special young man to cancer last year.  Josh went with us to the memorial celebration.  Every single night he prays for this boy's family without fail.  He mainly says he hopes they aren't too sad and that they are holding on to good thoughts and for God to help them be happy again one day.  We never prompt him but every single night he prays for them.  Pray for Josh to continue to always have the heart for people he has now. 

Colin:  Colin is my smiley face monkey butt.  He will be 4 in July and he is definitely moving from that baby/toddler stage to a big kid stage.  He knows all his letters and most of their sounds, colors, shapes and can count to 20 without much trouble.  He is the first to call you out if you start to eat without saying the "blessings" and he likes to pray at night for random things.  Some of my favorites:  Animals.  Bicycles.  His Spiderman nightlight.  The city.  Chickens.  The Kona Ice Truck.  His friends.  Pray for Colin to continue to learn to listen and for us to always encourage his curiosity.

And...Me:  Oh boy.  That anger and bitterness I mentioned in the last post?  Still there.  I see this person continually hurt my family and it is a struggle to try and move past it.  But that's where I am...asking God to help me let it go.  For me to understand that hurting people hurt people.  Also God has revealed to me that even when we are forgiven for sinful choices we make there are still sometimes earthly consequences.  This situation with this person is an indirect consequence of some of my earlier choices.  That is a bitter pill to swallow but it doesn't make it any less true.  It also doesn't justify some of the hurtful things they have done and continue to do time and time again but that is where I am on it. 

I have been spending time investing in women and children at The Lovelady Center lately and it is a place that I am coming to love more and more.  I have met some amazing ladies and each time I visit I am so overwhelmed with how God transforms lives.  I prayed a while back for God to break my heart for what breaks His and Lovelady is where I keep being drawn to.

Celebrate Recovery continues to grow and thrive.  I have taken some steps back and there have been others that have stepped up to fill various leadership roles which is a huge thing and a good thing.  We celebrated our 3 year anniversary at WWBC recently and I cannot wait to see where it goes in the next 3 years.

We leave Monday for a week at the beach.  I am looking forward to some downtime with my husband and boys. 

Prayers needed for me:  Patience.  Remembering it isn't all about me.  Wisdom in so many areas.  For God to temper my pride.  And for me to always try to be: the wife and mother my husband and children deserve; the employee my boss needs...even when it is difficult; the daughter my parents and inlaws need; the friend my friends need me to be and the leader God needs me to be.