There are few things Colin loves more than going to Target and getting an Icee at the end. He will ask about 876 times if we are going to get an Icee. Before leaving on vacation last week we were at Target and Josh & Colin were in rare form. They were running all over the place and I found myself having to stop numerous times to tell them to knock it off. I kept forgetting things and had to backtrack in the store.
Finally, without yelling at all, I said to them, "Okay. I have to get 5 more things before we can go. If you cannot behave for the remainder of our trip then we will not stop to get an Icee on the way out."
They both nodded and by Thing #3 they were running and playing again. I said nothing, got my 2 last things and we headed for the check out. As soon as we were gathering our bags Colin started toward the snack counter. I stopped him and he looked up at me and said, "But we haven't gotten our Icees yet..."
I reminded him that I had asked them several times to stop running and they chose not to follow my instructions. I asked Josh if he knew what disobedience was and he said it was when you were told to do one thing and you did something else.
I started for the exit and Colin was heartbroken. He cried and cried all the way to the car. Real baby tears rolling down that sweet face. He kept saying, "But I'm sorry Mommy! I won't do it again. I really won't. Please let us have an Icee. Please..."
Josh was quiet but asked if they promised to behave next time could they get an Icee. I stood my ground. I didn't yell. I didn't fuss. I didn't act exasperated with them...which let me be real here...I would have sold either one of them to roving gypsies at that moment.
I buckled Colin in and he continued to cry...not a whiny didn't get my way cry but a true sad cry.
We left Target and headed toward home. After a few minutes I asked them if they knew what grace was.
Josh said he thought it was something about church or Jesus but he wasn't sure. Colin just cried.
So I told them that grace is when we do something and we deserve a punishment but instead we are given mercy or even something good. Josh pondered this for a minute and asked, "So if somebody does a really bad thing and they deserve to go to jail but then the judge lets them go home that is grace?" And I explained it further from a spiritual standpoint. We talked about Jesus and the cross. Colin started listening and told me, "Jesus died on a cross...do you mean like that, Mommy?"
We drove along and talked about how sometimes even when we disobey God and we deserve to be punished that God gives us mercy and even blessings.
Then I turned into Snow Biz. As I parked the car Josh asked where we were going and I told him, "I'm showing you grace..."
Before we got our icee I explained to each of them that when they disobey it hurts me and makes me sad and angry. That I want to always give them good things and I don't like to punish them but I will. But that there are times I want them to know grace as well.
They were quiet and behaved like little angels the rest of the day.
When John got home he saw Colin's blue lips and asked, "What did you have today?" and my sweet boy smiled up at him and said, "Mommy bought us some grace."
Not exactly...but I think he was close.
I screw up 90% of my interactions with my kids so I really enjoy it when I get it right and that afternoon I felt like I got it right.
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